WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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