the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
