So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
