ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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