I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
