If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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