Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
