he wants to bone in the snuggie
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
