i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
