Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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