this beer tastes like vomit already
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
