Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
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