if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
