All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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