i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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