that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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