Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
