The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
