Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
