and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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