turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
