I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
