can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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