Her vagina should come with caution tape.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
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