she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
