How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
