I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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