Why are handjobs necessary in class?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
