the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
So much rum. So many feels.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
