he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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