dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
