this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
