I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
she was so not down for the gang bang
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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