How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
he puts the penis in happiness.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
