i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
