And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
