do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
