It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
