he wants to bone in the snuggie
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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