I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
