I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
