she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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