haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
