try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
