So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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