therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
