So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
