dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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