On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
