I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I have fence marks all over my body
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
