oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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